catching up

Yes, it has been much too long.

We have moved to our new home, and are enjoying the extra space it provides. The kids love the pool too. We are truly blessed.


We celebrated K's birthday with a surprise party. I was just pleased that we managed to pull it off, three days after moving in. Very fun.


The kids finished up their last day at their old school yesterday, and start at their new school next Wednesday. As I picked them up yesterday, I was blessed to see how loved they are by their teachers. There were plenty of hugs to go around, and their teachers looked so sad to see them go.

We have just a few more weeks before we get to meet Lucy. Excited. Daunted. And everything in between.

praise party

"a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" Ecclesiastes 3:4

It has been a somber couple of days. We just came back from the wake of a member of our church family a little while ago. He was such a kind, generous person, so quick to remind us that God is a God of beauty. I will miss him.

As much as I know that he is with Jesus now and that we will see him again, it was still heartbreaking to see our friend's mother mourn. I will not quickly forget the words she said to me when I hugged her. She spoke words from a heart freshly broken. And I mourned with her.

I knew I needed a lift yesterday evening, so with the kids home, I turned the TV off, turned up some kids worship on the iPod, and instructed them to pull out their playsilks. They were, thankfully, game for a praise party. As the praise songs played, I watched all three of them dance, leap and bounce without inhibition. I listened to Joshua trying to keep up with the words of some worship songs. I took mental notes as they told me which praise songs they liked better. The kids had a great time, but it was more than just a great time for me. They reminded me to hope, to hope because we have Jesus Christ.

moving

We should be moving in a matter of weeks to a new home, with more room for everyone.

Josh has always been quite adaptable, so he should do ok. Emma needs a little more reassurance than he does, but since I'm her security blanket, she should do fine. Noah is the least adaptable one so far. He is so used to his space that travelling with him last month was hard.

Nonetheless, it's a move I look forward to getting over with.

The kids will have to change schools too, and I have mixed feelings about it. I'd like for the kids to not have to deal with so many changes, but our new place will be too far for me to drive them up and down every day, especially after Lucy arrives.

Today I mentioned to Josh's teacher that we would have to leave soon. She told me that he'd be missed, in particular by one of the girls in the class a year younger than his. She apparently moped around last month when Josh was away, so much so that her mother asked his teacher when Josh was coming back!

thankful today

1. for a little three-year-old girl who slips her hand into mine every time we walk together.
2. for a grown up five-year-old boy who, when asked where babies come from, said, "The Lord gives the baby to mommy; He puts it in her tummy."
3. for a little baby boy who wanted me to give him his last milk feed before bed.
4. for a little baby girl who has kicks hard enough to give new meaning to "belly dance".
5. for a box of tiramisu from Da Paolo to share with my man.
6. for answered prayer.
7. for a community of ladies to study the bible with, and the relationships that are growing within this community.
8. for help in finding a lost pair of slippers at church today.

to be changed

Yes, it's been a while since I've blogged. Even through the silence, things have been moving along though.

It feels like Lucy is growing well - she's got a very good kick. Being able to feel her move is incredibly precious to me. Just as precious - seeing the look of delight on Joshua's face and hearing him giggle, as he held his hand to my belly and felt his second sister move.

We have also been busy gearing up for another move - our fourth move in as many years. This move was as unexpected as Lucy, but we need the space that our new home will provide. Along with that, we've also been trying to get a handle on renovations, get new stuff for the new home, look for a helper (I am finally caving), and look for a new school for the kids. I am eager to have this transition over and done with.

Amidst all this movement are moments when I stand still and wonder. About the paths we had to walk down in the last few months. About the fears we had to face. About the miracle that we received.

I still don't know why God led us down that path. But I do know this.

We are changed.

Oh, it may look like we simply picked up from where we left off. It may feel like we've moved on. But like a broken cup that has been glued back together, I bear the marks of what we have gone through. And I want to remember.

The pain and fear and worry that could only be assuaged by God.

The feeling of being held up with hands other than my own, when all of me was too weak.

The gift of a miracle that I was afraid to ask for.

And the light that shone in my darkness.

chinese new year

The kids had a chinese new year party in school.

This is Emma peering at me from her classroom

Both kids had a performance each, but E needed a bit of help with hers. Once she got up in front of everyone with her friends, she was struck with stage fright, and did not want to do anything. Kor-kor had to step in and help her with the actions.


In their new year finery.

reflections on a year past

Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.

Deuteronomy 8:2

A year ago, on the last day of 2007, we had only a vague idea of what the year ahead held for us. We knew we would have to move back to Singapore. Our sabbatical in Claremont would draw to an end. We would be back in real life! K would have to go back to work, and the kids to a new preschool.

But God has also taken us down roads unexpected, where we experienced fear, worry, anxiousness, but also God's joy, peace and love.

This year, Noah came home to us. As we worked this out, we have felt God prodding us along. We have felt God working it out for us - it was just little over six months from the point when we definitely decided that we were going to adopt to when Noah came home. We have felt God challenge us to keep believing His plan for us, when we learned of Noah's health issues. We have felt God's love and blessing as Noah settled into our family, and as we adjusted to being a family of five.

K and I continue to learn about God's father heart for us - how He loves, cares and comforts us, just as we do our children. As Josh and Emma grow up, we have felt challenged to become better parents, wiser parents, and have felt keenly our need for God's wisdom. They ask hard questions sometimes!

In our move back home, we have felt loss. It was harder than I had expected to give up all that we had been blessed with in Claremont. It was harder than I had expected to settle into our life back home. But even in this time of transition, I have felt God challenge us to keep to the course that He has planned for us. It would be easy to wander off, to seek something else because I think it is better, easier. But what blessings, what lessons would we be giving up then?

So here, now, this is what I know. God has been real in our lives. He has been faithful. He has blessed. And even in the hard things, we have been taught to trust that God is there, that He knows it all, that His hand is on us, and that His hand guides us.

looking like Christmas

This is what we have been busy with this past weekend...

Putting up with tree, with a great deal of help from the two older kids.

A little late in the game, but we decided last year to start getting a special ornament for each of them each year. J was happy to see his car, and E to see her little puppy, that they had picked out at Target last year!

The sight of the presents under the tree is driving Miss E slightly insane though. She CANNOT resist their siren call. Yesterday morning, J tattled on her - she was quietly peeling the wrapper off a little present. I decided that we needed a distraction, and so was obsessed with finding an Advent calendar all day yesterday.

It was not to be, so I decided to make my own.

The kids will get to open up a little package each day - and will each receive a small treat. I've written down a bible verse in each little packet that, all together, tells the story of Jesus' birth. I have grand plans that we'll read it together just before they enjoy their treats - we'll have to see how that goes.

My last project - our family wall.

The idea was conceived while we were still in Claremont: partly executed there, when I bought the prints off Etsy (two of the prints read: love lives here and you are my sunshine). And then finished off with our photos earlier this month. It's taken me almost a month to get them printed, find mattes for them, framed, and then arranged on the wall.
And there's still room for photos to be put around what we have now.

I am off to lie down now.

i am...

... learning to live beyond myself. (Yay for online bible studies!)

... appreciating kids who are well.

... having fun with introducing N to solids.

... enjoying my time with the preschoolers at church.

... tired out at the end of each day!

... loving my family.

... forgetting that N is adopted.

... thankful that the two older ones love having the little one around.

... happy that K had the day off today.

... surprised at how much I enjoy the music of Imagination Movers.

... believing God.

... trying to get back to cooking more often.

... listening to Christmas music already.

... tickled by the kids' singing and dancing.

... glad that the kids are in bed early tonight.

... missing cooler weather.

... accepting that there will always be laundry to do.

... being random.

introductions, please

Noah is home.

Everyone, meet Noah.


We are all adjusting. But Noah, especially. It must feel like his whole world has shifted.

getting into the olympic spirit

For the first time in 48 years, Singapore is actually in the running for either a gold or a silver medal in table tennis. Woo-hoo!

What we are learning from this year's Olympic games - J has the most competitive spirit! He was cheering the Singapore table tennis team on. He wants to watch anything Olympic-related on TV, never mind what sport it is. And when Singapore is not in the running, he cheers on USA (he recognises the US flag and calls it L.A. flag!).

The F1-Singapore Grand Prix happens next month. We stumbled on this ride in a mall that we go to quite often. To say that J was excited is perhaps understating it - he almost burst. He is fiercely competitive: he gives dirty looks to the other kids in the other cars as he passes them. He got really annoyed with a girl for stopping because she was blocking his way. When he wasn't glaring at his competitors, he was smiling in delight at the speed at which he was going. He's been on this ride on two separate occasions, each time he cried when the ride ended because he wanted to keep going.

After the ride today, he said, "Mom, next time when I grow up, can I be a race car driver?"

birthday day

J burst into our room bright and early this morning with a big "happy birthday, dad"!

This is what we had on: morning out at the beach, Japanese all-you-can-eat dinner, and two birthday cakes!

seven years of marriage

The LORD is God,

And He has made His light shine upon us.

Psalm 118:27

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

- William Butler Yeats

passport

When we tried to book our tickets to Manila on Monday night, we realised that we needed a new passport for E. Her current one still has her six-month-old baby picture in it. She looks plenty different now. (Hair!) So Tuesday morning, I dropped off her application at ICA. According to their website, a new passport would take three working days to process. And ta-dah - in the mail today, we received notification to pick up her passport next Monday.

I love it when our civil service works.

In contrast, we've been told that we have to wait 20 business days for Noah's passport. Seriously. TWENTY?!

On a separate note, K and I leave for our first holiday without the kids tomorrow, in celebration of our 7th wedding anniversary on Monday. These are my stream-of-consciousness thoughts: It doesn't feel like 7 years. I can't bear to leave the kids. But there's shopping and food and Thai massage to be had, so yay! But what if I miss the kids too much? And what if they miss me too much? But then, how nice it'd be to eat a meal slowly and shop without having to call someone out from under the clothes racks...

on holiday at home

Today we got to be "on holiday", as J put it. K was off from work - yay!

After school, we went for our first swim since coming back home, and then the kids had their first trip to the library after dinner, where they got their own library books and a new book bag to haul their loot back.

The kid were thrilled with their swim, to say the least. And naturally, J's books were all train-related.

bambini

We came home to discover that indoor playgrounds have sprouted up in different places in Singapore over the past year! Woo-hoo!


The fun-nest part for me: seeing J taking his mei-mei by hand and guiding her along some of the more complicated parts of the play structure (so that she can get to the top of the slide), and then getting to watch them pop out of the end of the slide one after another in quick succession with big grins on their faces.

The second best part: having two very tired kids by the end of the day.

breathless

My plate feels a little too full.

My online classes at Fuller Theological Seminary started this week. I am more than slightly intimidated, and am feeling very overwhelmed. I am just not sure that I am up to balancing this with the kids, the adoption paperwork, the new baby (when he comes), and managing the preschoolers' class at church.

I am reminding myself that I can do all things through Christ.

But I am still feeling breathless. I wonder what a panic attack feels like. Because what I am feeling sure feels like one.

new bikes!

bird park

J and E's first visit to the bird park. J had to get over some initial crankiness, but once he did, he loved the pelicans.

He also got to channel his inner macaw.

E spent the bulk of our time there asleep!
More photos on Facebook.

a walk along the kallang river

J now needs no prompting. He saw me holding the camera and called out," Cheese...".

View when we head south along the river, part of Singapore's downtown

View of our apartment block
(We are in the second block from the right.)