Sunday, February 15, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
new life
There is something miraculous in seeing a heart beat, when just a few weeks ago, there was none.
A few weeks ago, we found out that we are expecting. Our. Fourth. Child.
It took us a couple of weeks to just get over the shock. And while we were excited and thankful for the blessing, this time round it was also tinged with some apprehension. Four kids running rings around me. And then, there was the CMV to worry about.
We had our first doctor's appointment today. I am just about 8 weeks along now, and baby number 4 is due around the last week of September. We watched the little heart beat on the ultrasound, steadily, regularly. There is nothing quite like seeing it for the first time. I was in awe of it. (We have already promised the older kids that they'll get to come with me to the doctor in a few months' time, so they get to see the baby on the "doctor's machine". Josh said, kind of like an x-ray, right, Mom?)
Last year, around the time that we felt called to adoption, one thing that held me back initially was thinking that I would not be pregnant again. We had assumed that we would conceive our third child biologically. And I thought, if I had known that my second pregnancy would be my last, I would have treasured it more, savored it more. But God's call to us to adopt was so clear, that we felt we had to obey. So I gave that up, a little sadly.
Now here we are. Being given more than we asked for. Blessed beyond what we imagined for ourselves.
A few weeks ago, we found out that we are expecting. Our. Fourth. Child.
It took us a couple of weeks to just get over the shock. And while we were excited and thankful for the blessing, this time round it was also tinged with some apprehension. Four kids running rings around me. And then, there was the CMV to worry about.
We had our first doctor's appointment today. I am just about 8 weeks along now, and baby number 4 is due around the last week of September. We watched the little heart beat on the ultrasound, steadily, regularly. There is nothing quite like seeing it for the first time. I was in awe of it. (We have already promised the older kids that they'll get to come with me to the doctor in a few months' time, so they get to see the baby on the "doctor's machine". Josh said, kind of like an x-ray, right, Mom?)
Last year, around the time that we felt called to adoption, one thing that held me back initially was thinking that I would not be pregnant again. We had assumed that we would conceive our third child biologically. And I thought, if I had known that my second pregnancy would be my last, I would have treasured it more, savored it more. But God's call to us to adopt was so clear, that we felt we had to obey. So I gave that up, a little sadly.
Now here we are. Being given more than we asked for. Blessed beyond what we imagined for ourselves.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Ephesians 3:20-21
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
go tell it on the mountain
We are learning that the most serious and interesting conversations we have with the kids happen in the car.
Close to our home is a little Chinese temple. As we were driving home yesterday night, we saw a little bonfire right outside it. It piqued J's interest.
That led to a conversation about how there are lots of people in Singapore who aren't Christians. I suppose it's a little hard for him to get that. We talked about how people sometimes believe in different things, and how not everyone knows Jesus Christ, how our jobs as Christians is to tell others about Christ.
To which J says, I tell my friends at school. But they don't believe me.
We can't make them believe, I tell him. It's enough for us to tell them about Jesus.
And then he says, Mommy, God is sad when they don't believe him. And I make God happy because I believe him, right?
Close to our home is a little Chinese temple. As we were driving home yesterday night, we saw a little bonfire right outside it. It piqued J's interest.
That led to a conversation about how there are lots of people in Singapore who aren't Christians. I suppose it's a little hard for him to get that. We talked about how people sometimes believe in different things, and how not everyone knows Jesus Christ, how our jobs as Christians is to tell others about Christ.
To which J says, I tell my friends at school. But they don't believe me.
We can't make them believe, I tell him. It's enough for us to tell them about Jesus.
And then he says, Mommy, God is sad when they don't believe him. And I make God happy because I believe him, right?
Monday, February 9, 2009
in sweet company
In Sweet Company
We sit together and I tell you things,
Silent, unborn, naked things
That only my God has heard me say,
You do not cluck your tongue at me
Or roll your eyes
Or split my heart into a thousand thousand pieces
With words that have little to do with me.
You do not turn away because you cannot bear to see
Your own unclaimed light shining in my eyes.
You stay with me in the dark,
You urge me into being.
You make room in your heart for my voice.
You rejoice in my joy.
And through it all, you stand unbound
By everything but the still, small Voice within you.
I see my future Self in you
Just enough to risk
Moving beyond the familiar,
Just enough to leave
The familiar in the past where it belongs.
I breathe you in and I breathe you out
In one luxurious and contented sigh.
In sweet company
I am home at last
---- Margaret Wolff
We sit together and I tell you things,
Silent, unborn, naked things
That only my God has heard me say,
You do not cluck your tongue at me
Or roll your eyes
Or split my heart into a thousand thousand pieces
With words that have little to do with me.
You do not turn away because you cannot bear to see
Your own unclaimed light shining in my eyes.
You stay with me in the dark,
You urge me into being.
You make room in your heart for my voice.
You rejoice in my joy.
And through it all, you stand unbound
By everything but the still, small Voice within you.
I see my future Self in you
Just enough to risk
Moving beyond the familiar,
Just enough to leave
The familiar in the past where it belongs.
I breathe you in and I breathe you out
In one luxurious and contented sigh.
In sweet company
I am home at last
---- Margaret Wolff
Monday, February 2, 2009
my three-year-old girl
Emma has been anticipating this for days! She was all excited about having cupcakes in school with her friends, having goodie bags to give out, and then having a princess cake at home. Sunday was spent baking what felt like a million cupcakes, and there was a minor crisis on Monday morning when I thought there wouldn't be enough frosting. But it turned out to be enough in the end, so it was all good!
My little girl is getting less little. We are so proud of her, and we love her so.
Oh, what turned out to be an unexpected highlight: Josh managed to say grace for all of us, grandparents included, before we started on dinner. We were so proud of him too.
This is Emma's birthday in pictures.
My little girl is getting less little. We are so proud of her, and we love her so.
Oh, what turned out to be an unexpected highlight: Josh managed to say grace for all of us, grandparents included, before we started on dinner. We were so proud of him too.
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